SSYTTC08 – this Awareness will help me from now on
Now I can appreciate the fact that I was able to take Sri Sri Yoga TTC in China. However, when I was there, I really wanted to finish and leave there ASAP.
Honestly, I had a hard time during the course, due to language problems, cold weather, doing yoga on the icy floor, eating oily Chinese food 3 times a day, anatomy, and the assignments.
Especially when I was in bad shape, I forced myself into a tight corner, thinking, “I am falling behind others, I am falling behind others, I am falling behind others.”
And then I started thinking,
“Why can’t I speak good English?”
“Why don’t I have the guts to do the course?”
“Why Am I so lazy?”
“Why don’t I have motivation to be a teacher?”
I was fettered by this why why why mind merry-go-round.
After TTC, I thought over the entire course carefully, and, upon reflection, I found that it was not such a severe situation at all! It was cold, but there was no snow. The food was oily, but I ate it. I could not express my thoughts or
feelings properly in English, but I could understand what the teachers were saying. (Also, I could ask Chikako and Key to translate for me.)
Except these “obstacles”, I stayed in a nice and clean room, I had kind teachers and friendly participants.
So why couldn’t I enjoy it? Why did I only see negative side (which is not really bad…)?
I figured out that I have had the same reaction in my life too. I had a hard time with my previous boss, but I also had kind colleagues, and good senior bosses.
About my relationship – Was he nasty to me? No, never.
Are there any serious problems in my family? No…
What’s wrong with my life?
Why do I make things too complicated and then get depressed?
Why do I want to be in misery?
I think I always judge things in “Black and White”.
I cannot be satisfied with anything except that which is “perfectly 100% white”
I know this way of thinking never makes you happy.
The process is more important than the result. Enjoying the whole process in any situation is one of the most important things in our life.
This awareness will help me from now on, and it would be great to share this experience with my students in the future.
-Masayo Yamaguchi (Japan), Sri Sri Yoga Teacher Training 2008, Fuzhou China
